I really have tried not to make my little blog a big ol' whine fest but it's my blog and I'll cry if I want to! :) For today anyway.
It's been a weird day. I go from feeling sort of panicked to calm. Feeling like everything is falling apart to telling myself it'll be ok. But mostly feeling like everything sucks. I am feeling fresh out of optimism. I'm tired of being worried and stressed. I'm tired of being second in line for everything. I'm tired of doing it all. Really doing it all.
There are people who are willing to help. It's just find it hard to ask. I would love for someone to say what can I do to help you out?? Right now, what can I do? People say give me a call if you need anything but it's different when someone makes an actual offer. I know it's a stretch but God that would be nice. I know, I can pick up the phone and ask and I do, sometimes.
This is one of those things moms are good at. Knowing just what you need right when you need it. I remember once when Nayeli was about 6 months old my mom made a surprise visit. I came home to find a clean house and Grandma waiting to help out with anything else. My mom was not a fan of housekeeping so for her to do that was a big deal. I miss her shoulder to cry on and her comforting words. A mom is a very special thing.
I'm just done. And I need a freakin' break. I won't hold my breath.
Tomorrow is another day!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Back seat parenting
Today while we were at the park we came across a little girl who was wandering around by herself. How old was this child you say? Oh, a year and a half tops. Ya, 18 months (maybe two but I don't think so), playing on the playground, barefoot, by herself.
I finally saw a couple sitting 20-30 feet away pretty much not even looking at her but had to be her parents. In my mind this child was completely unsupervised. From where the parents were sitting they could not see everything she was doing. She nearly walked in front of a moving swing(not unusual for any kid but there was no one there to stop her!), more than once stuck her binky in the sand and then sucked on it, and was all over the jungle gym (not toddler size play equipment).
Is it just me or is this just a little crazy!! Anyone could have come up and snatched her. She could have had any number of accidents and they were too far away to prevent it. Not to mention that she had plenty of time to wander away into a very large park or god forbid the street. When the parents finally came over they were offended by the looks from some of the parents. And at what point do you say something in that type of situation. To me it looked like they weren't paying attention at all but maybe I was mistaken??
On the flip side of that there was a Dad there with his daughter who seemed very overprotective (in my humble opinion). She was lucky he let her get on the jungle gym. I think he thought it might be hazardous just going down the slide. In this case, I felt like he didn't want to let her have fun for fear she might get a little scrape.
I don't know. I catch myself getting crazy about what Nayeli can and can't do, how far she can be from me, where she's allowed to go and with who. I have to remind myself to let her be a kid. But I also know this world is a much different place than when I was a kid. I think we have to be more cautious, more aware.
I was really shocked by seeing that little girl playing alone. Nothing happened but how much of that is the result of the other parents, me included, who were looking out for her. What if something had happened? And should I have said something? The line between your own parenting style and another parents is very fine. It's not one I cross often. What's the right thing to do??
I finally saw a couple sitting 20-30 feet away pretty much not even looking at her but had to be her parents. In my mind this child was completely unsupervised. From where the parents were sitting they could not see everything she was doing. She nearly walked in front of a moving swing(not unusual for any kid but there was no one there to stop her!), more than once stuck her binky in the sand and then sucked on it, and was all over the jungle gym (not toddler size play equipment).
Is it just me or is this just a little crazy!! Anyone could have come up and snatched her. She could have had any number of accidents and they were too far away to prevent it. Not to mention that she had plenty of time to wander away into a very large park or god forbid the street. When the parents finally came over they were offended by the looks from some of the parents. And at what point do you say something in that type of situation. To me it looked like they weren't paying attention at all but maybe I was mistaken??
On the flip side of that there was a Dad there with his daughter who seemed very overprotective (in my humble opinion). She was lucky he let her get on the jungle gym. I think he thought it might be hazardous just going down the slide. In this case, I felt like he didn't want to let her have fun for fear she might get a little scrape.
I don't know. I catch myself getting crazy about what Nayeli can and can't do, how far she can be from me, where she's allowed to go and with who. I have to remind myself to let her be a kid. But I also know this world is a much different place than when I was a kid. I think we have to be more cautious, more aware.
I was really shocked by seeing that little girl playing alone. Nothing happened but how much of that is the result of the other parents, me included, who were looking out for her. What if something had happened? And should I have said something? The line between your own parenting style and another parents is very fine. It's not one I cross often. What's the right thing to do??
Our Christmas
In addition to the great time we had with our family on Christmas Day we got to go to a couple of Christmas events that I have to share.First we went to Rogers Gardens in Irvine. This place was amazing. It's a very high end nursery that turns into a Christmas wonderland at the holidays. There was room after room of ornaments and decorations. Mostly very, very expensive decorations but it really was fun just looking.
They had two or three rooms just with Christopher Radko ornaments and decorations. I've been admirer of his ornaments for a long time. I had no idea how large his collection is. It was amazing. Definitely a site to see.
And if you're into the green stuff there were lots of plants and junk to look at too. I do not have anything near a green thumb so I had little interest in the plant life. There was one item that caught my eye. I had no idea that cabbage (I think it was cabbage.) has a beautiful flower/bloom. It was this huge white/green flower. Really cool. Later that night we actually saw it in someones yard and it looked really pretty. Who knew!
After the Gardens we went to the Balboa Island Christmas Boat parade and Home Tour. This was by far one of the best holiday activities I have ever been to. I got no good pics of the boats so unfortunately I can't give you a visual but trust me it was awesome. The boats were great but I think I liked the Home Tour even better. I'm not sure how to put it into words but the whole experience of the Gardens and then the parade was just perfect. This was the kind of thing you imagine doing with your family to celebrate the season. One of those things that becomes a tradition. It was really special.We are very fortunate, Nayeli and I. Although I couldn't give her everything on her wish list (especially the one really big, expensive thing she wanted) she still had a really great Christmas. And I feel like I must be doing something right because she didn't fall apart at realizing she wasn't going to get the really big item. It was ok. And I was ok. I didn't spend days on end feeling guilty about it. We have so much.
I know that at the end of the day she gets so much more out of the time we spend with our family and each other than any gift she could get. It's one thing to say that but I really felt it this year.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Say What??
Nayeli pretending to be a cheerleader-
Nayeli: "We are the hussies, We are the hussies!"
Me: "Excuse me, what did you just say?"
Her: "We are the hussies, We are ...."
Me: "Honey, It's the HUSKIES."
Her: "Ok. We are the Huskies..."
Ya. Still cracks me up.
Nayeli: "We are the hussies, We are the hussies!"
Me: "Excuse me, what did you just say?"
Her: "We are the hussies, We are ...."
Me: "Honey, It's the HUSKIES."
Her: "Ok. We are the Huskies..."
Ya. Still cracks me up.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Tis the Season
Today begins the Christmas Tour of Homes 2008 over at BooMama.
I stumbled across this last year and have anxiously awaited it this year.
Literally hundreds of wonderful people have opened up their homes to share their visions of Christmas.
I love taking a peak into peoples homes and seeing how they bring Christmas to life. It's also a great way to get ideas for decorating next year.
I'm not sure there's anyway to get through all of them but it's a fun way to kill a few spare minutes. Plus some of the ladies have included their favorite Christmas recipes.
Here's one that I can't wait to try. I've heard of this treat several times and have never managed to get my hands on the recipe. Unfortunately I didn't write down which blog I got it from so I can't give her credit. Enjoy!
Cracker Candy
1 c sugar
1 c butter
12 oz semi-sweet chocolate chips
chopped nuts
Saltine crackers
Line a jelly roll pan with foil. Arrange 40 crackers in a single layer.
Bring sugar and butter to a boil, cook 3 minutes, stirring constantly. Pour over crackers and spread with a spoon.
Bake at 450 degrees for about 5 minutes, being careful not to burn. Remove from oven and sprinkle with chocolate chips. Let stand to melt.
Sprinkle on nuts (if desired), spread and refrigerate. Break apart and serve.
Rain Rain go away (a little bit)
It has been raining for-e-ver!
The streets are flooded, flash flood warnings have been issued and people are being evacuated from the recently burned areas.
We live literally across the street from Nayeli's school but the rain was so bad I drove her to school. I felt a little silly but it was the difference between the cuffs of the pants being wet or her entire body being soaked. I think I made the right choice.
I like the rain and the chill in the air but this is ridiculous. And I live near several areas that were burned in the wild fires and those poor people have to leave their homes again because of the threat of mud slides.
Can't we just have a little rain. Why the extremes?? Maybe it's that global warming thing. The weather here in California has been very wacky. I think a week ago I was moaning about it still being hot (in the 80's) and now it's so wet it's not safe to go outside. What the heck!
I was actually looking forward to it cooling off and the occasional sprinkle. Downpour was not what I was hoping for. I would not last a day in a snowy climate. I really feel for those of you who deal with snow. If I'm whinin' about the rain I might have a breakdown dealing with the snow. I really don't even want to know what subzero weather feels like.
I'm done crying about the weather and now would like to take a moment to give a little thanks.
This morning I woke up feeling very grateful. Thankful for our lives, our home, our friends and family. It was one of those moments where you think, what more do I need. Everything I need I have right now, everything else is just icing on the cake. Now if I could just hang on to that feeling!
The streets are flooded, flash flood warnings have been issued and people are being evacuated from the recently burned areas.
We live literally across the street from Nayeli's school but the rain was so bad I drove her to school. I felt a little silly but it was the difference between the cuffs of the pants being wet or her entire body being soaked. I think I made the right choice.
I like the rain and the chill in the air but this is ridiculous. And I live near several areas that were burned in the wild fires and those poor people have to leave their homes again because of the threat of mud slides.
Can't we just have a little rain. Why the extremes?? Maybe it's that global warming thing. The weather here in California has been very wacky. I think a week ago I was moaning about it still being hot (in the 80's) and now it's so wet it's not safe to go outside. What the heck!
I was actually looking forward to it cooling off and the occasional sprinkle. Downpour was not what I was hoping for. I would not last a day in a snowy climate. I really feel for those of you who deal with snow. If I'm whinin' about the rain I might have a breakdown dealing with the snow. I really don't even want to know what subzero weather feels like.
I'm done crying about the weather and now would like to take a moment to give a little thanks.
This morning I woke up feeling very grateful. Thankful for our lives, our home, our friends and family. It was one of those moments where you think, what more do I need. Everything I need I have right now, everything else is just icing on the cake. Now if I could just hang on to that feeling!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Random thoughts
The last couple of weeks have been a little bit crazy.
Every year Thanksgiving comes and then the next 6 weeks are one big blur. I always say I'm going to be more prepared, do more, be more organized, blah, blah, blah. Never happens. Maybe I should just stop saying it and see where that gets me.
I love the holidays. I really do but there are always so many things I want to do that I just don't know where to start.
I feel stuck right now. This is a time of year is meant to be spent with family and one of the most important people in my life is not here to share it. Three years without my mom has gone by way too fast. Some days are ok and others it feels like she past away yesterday. I still have moments of wanting to pick up the phone and talk to her. I look at her pictures and for seconds she seems so close.
Holy cow I'm kinda falling apart. Wow I'm barely starting my day and I'm a puddle of tears. Well this post certainly went in a direction I wasn't expecting. So yeah I guess I'm a little sad today. I'm thinking I need to take a break. To be continued....
Every year Thanksgiving comes and then the next 6 weeks are one big blur. I always say I'm going to be more prepared, do more, be more organized, blah, blah, blah. Never happens. Maybe I should just stop saying it and see where that gets me.
I love the holidays. I really do but there are always so many things I want to do that I just don't know where to start.
I feel stuck right now. This is a time of year is meant to be spent with family and one of the most important people in my life is not here to share it. Three years without my mom has gone by way too fast. Some days are ok and others it feels like she past away yesterday. I still have moments of wanting to pick up the phone and talk to her. I look at her pictures and for seconds she seems so close.
Holy cow I'm kinda falling apart. Wow I'm barely starting my day and I'm a puddle of tears. Well this post certainly went in a direction I wasn't expecting. So yeah I guess I'm a little sad today. I'm thinking I need to take a break. To be continued....
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